God is up to something

Finally, another post. I am considering a week-long mission trip to Haiti. This is not for the purpose of serving the earthquake victims. The group that is going is from my church and they've been invited by a church in a town north of Port-au-Prince to do some ministry there - teach the Vineyard prayer model, put on a revival and possibly a VBS. This is, of course, not what I had in mind, but I know that His ways are not our ways. Please pray for discernment for me as to whether He wants me to go on this trip. I will have to come up with the air fare by the end of the month, so perhaps that will be my deciding factor. I have experienced that when I am not sure if this is God's leading, I move in the direction of making preparations for it and if it does not happen, that is His answer. I will meet with the team that is going this Sunday to learn more details. Thanks for your continued prayer and support.

Mary Ann

I don't know about this

Well, since my last entry I have gotten a car. God is good. I knew a car payment was not the way to go and got lots of support from friends along the way. Many people gave me rides to where I needed to be and I took the bus to work many a day. Not my favorite thing to do, but I got some exercise, got to walk through Eden park every morning and watch the sun rise (when it wasnt raining), met "interesting" people, and gained a new appreciation for folks who have to (or choose to) rely on public transportation. So, long story short, I discovered my friend wanted to sell his car, but was nervous about selling to someone he knew, afraid that if something went wrong there would be bad feelings and resentment. I assured him that the only way I would resent him is if he didn't disclose something to me that he knew was wrong. And I felt sure that he wouldn't do something like that. Indeed, there are a few things malfunctioning on this car, as on most well-loved and well-used cars that are 6 years old. But he has given me a very good deal on it. I wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise. I did need one repair this week that I knew would be coming. Just thought I could nurse it along a little longer, but that was not to be. In fact, God had his hand in that situation as well. I had to call a tow truck and the truck driver shared with me and my friend about his little daughter being born 3 months premature and surviving. The doctor's are very impressed with her progress so far. So I would not have had the opportunity to pray for little Natalie Faith had it not been for the car trouble on Sunday. Please include her and her parents in your prayers. Thanks.



The other issue I spoke of last time was the doubts I have been getting about going to Haiti. Nothing has changed there yet. I am holding off on putting my house on the market right now. I know I have some grief work to get through before I make any major decisions. I have been paring back on my activities so I will have time to focus on that. Please continue to pray for me as I go through this that I stay open to what God wants to teach me and trust that His hand is at work at all times.

here we go

Someone suggested I keep a blog while I'm in Haiti so everyone can keep up with what's happening. So, I'm going to try it. If I start now, I will see if it's something that I will keeep up with or not. It's kind of like a journal I guess. I've never been much for journaling, but there's always the "next right thing" to try.

I can start by confessing that in the last month or so I have had doubts about going to Haiti, but I guess that's to be expected when you are doing something for God, the enemy is right there with the lies and doubts. If I stay centered & focused on what the next right thing is, and remain in tune with what I believe God is showing me, I'll know the answer to the question "am I supposed to do this?" when the time is right. Meantime, I will keep "pressing on toward the prize" as I feel lead.

I have been searching for a car for a month now, one I don't have to go into debt over. It's not easy, but I when I think about having a car payment again, I get that sinking feeling that usually tells me that's not the next right thing. so I continue to wait and trust that God will provide what I need in His time and meanwhile I have something to learn in the process.

I have also recently discovered there is more grieving to be done over the loss of the babies that were never born. I opened the flood gates a couple weeks ago at church when I went for prayer and last weekend my sisters and I had a yard sale in which I sold all the baby stuff I had accumulated over the past couple years. I kept a stiff upper lip the first day, but Sunday morning, I looked at my sister and said "do you know how hard this is for me?" and that opened the door to a good cry. Then it was all over and I went about the business of the day. I have heard that when God closes a door somewhere He opens another one.

For now, I will focus on the next right thing and not try to predict the future. Thanks for listening...

Mary Ann